It’s no secret that trans kids have an elevated risk for suicide and suicidal ideation, and that that risk has increased substantially since the flurry of anti-trans laws (48 laws in 19 states between 2018 and 2022) passed in many states in recent years. Such laws add deprivation of appropriate medical treatment to other abuses already suffered by many trans people, including bullying and denial of the reality of their identity, and it’s no surprise that they result in increased suicides and suicide attempts. Some of those laws may be repealed following the wave of Democratic victories in the November elections, but that doesn’t guarantee bigots will change their attitudes nor that health care workers will recognize the humanity of those they are being paid to care for. At any rate, one way to address the crisis is to strive to better understand the experiences and psychology of trans kids and to try to find out what kind of support might bring them back from the brink.
In What Will I Become?, trans directors Lexie Bean and Logan Rozos explore the histories of two trans boys who took their own lives. Blake Brockington was elected homecoming king of his North Carolina high school and had begun studying music education at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte at the time of his death. Kyler Prescott was a 14-year-old from San Diego who took his life after being discharged from a hospital whose staff had that persistently misgendered him.
It’s clear that both Blake and Kyler had a lot to offer the world and their departure is a loss not just to their friends and family but to everyone. Blake was the drum major of his high school band and had a smile that could light up the room, but was on the autism spectrum and suffered from depression. Kyler was also a musician and a poet who was comfortable with his gender identity and supported by his family, particularly his mother Katharine who sued the hospital after his death. Each of these issues can be addressed with the science and medical treatment we currently have, but the right things were not done and the result was two tragedies that didn’t have to happen.
The filmmakers use a lot of home video footage to tell the story of Blake, the more outgoing of the two young men, and use animation by Juan Pablo Rozo Gutierrez and Daniel Lobb to illustrate Kyler’s story since relatively little video exists of him. It’s an effective approach that clearly differentiates the two stories without losing the thread of connection between them.
The subject matter of What Will I Become? could easily have led Lexie and Logan (as they are described in publicity materials) to create an angry documentary, but instead they made a gentle, quiet film that emphasizes what Blake and Kyler could have done with their lives had they lived long enough to realize their talents. One image that is pervasive is that of the filmmakers discussing the film in a sort of blanket fort clubhouse illuminated by fairy lights, which provides a sense of security and hints at a return to childhood innocence and a refuge from the troubles of the world. The ultimate feeling imparted by What Will I Become? is that of hope: if we stick together and be kind to each other, the haters don’t have to win and we can all thrive together. | Sarah Boslaugh
What Will I Become? will be screened on Nov. 11 at 5:15 pm at the B&B Theatres Creve Coeur West Olive 10 as part of the 35th annual Saint Louis International Film Festival.. Information about tickets and the full festival schedule is available from the Festival web site.
