On Feb. 24, 2022, Russia invaded Ukraine, beginning a war that has since become the deadliest in Europe since World War II. Here in the United States, unless you have Ukrainian ancestry, the war can seem like something happening in the far distance that isn’t likely to affect you personally. But if you live in Lithuania, which is both uncomfortably close to the action and has had recent experience of Russian domination, the invasion of Ukraine is not an ignorable abstraction because you know you could be the next victim.
The war is not the primary subject of Andrius Blazevicius’ How to Divorce During the War, but acts more as the context in which the real story is taking place. The real story is that of Vilna residents Marija (Zygimante Elena Jakstaite), Vytas (Marius Repsys) and their precocious young daughter Dovile (Amelija Adomaityte), who were leading a comfortable and rather ordinary middle class life in Vilna right up to the day before the Russian invasion, when Marija announced that she wanted a divorce.
In fiction, relationships often come to an end due to specific transgressions—abuse, cheating, theft—and breakups are typically portrayed as dramatic, with lots of yelling and breaking of plates. Simple stories with lots of action may work well on screen, but I think they misrepresent the real truth about how most relationships end: by simply petering out and remaining in stasis until one of the parties involved has the courage to take action to end it.
That’s how it was with Marija, a high-powered executive who is the family breadwinner, and Vytas, a frustrated writer who has fallen into the role of a house husband. From the moment we first meet them, they seem to be living their lives at one remove, a feeling reinforced by the film’s muted, greyish palette. Even their breakup fight, seen through the window of their car, seems feeble, like neither could raise the energy to properly express anger or anything else.
Although its overall tone is serious, there’s plenty of dry humor in How to Divorce During the War and Marija’s unfortunate timing is only the start. When Marija and Vytas fumble to tell Dovile that they’re breaking up, she prompts them with a script familiar from discussions with her friends, many of whom have divorced parents. Then Vytas moves back to his parents and discovers that they are Russophiles.
Above all, there’s the absurdity of the juxtaposition of world-shaking events (daily life in Vilna is permeated with news about the war, and many people including Marija take in refugees or, like Vytas, participate in demonstrations and relief work) with the mundanity of most people’s lives. Blazevicius has a sly way of showing how useful and well-meaning actions can coexist with performativeness as people struggle to do the right thing with regard to global events while remaining primarily concerned with their personal lives, and must balance following their moral ideals with the need to pay the bills.
How to Divorce During the War is a low-key film for grownups that hides stern social criticism beneath the realistic portrayal of everyday lives. Above all, this is a film that feels real, and critics and audiences have responded to both its sincerity and its acerbic take on modern European life. Among other things, How to Divorce During the War is Lithuania’s nominee for the 2027 Best International Feature Film Academy Award and Blazevicius won the Best Director award for World Cinema at the 2026 Sundance Film Festival. | Sarah Boslaugh
How to Divorce During the War is distributed by Zeitgeist Films in association with Kino Lorber. It will receive a wide release in the United States following a NYC opening on Aug. 21 and an LA opening on Aug. 28.
